The mirage of external validation In our hyper-connected world, the quest for external validation has seemingly become an international pastime. With social media platforms serving as virtual arenas where we joust for likes, shares, and retweets, it's easy to be lured into the trap of equating these digital thumbs-ups with our worth. However, this relentless pursuit of approval, this hunger for recognition, is a siren call luring us towards rocky shores. French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, in his existential musings, warned of the danger of allowing others to dictate our self-worth. He described it as "bad faith" — a denial of our freedom and responsibility. Put simply, when we tether our self-esteem to the fleeting and fickle nature of public opinion, we devalue our intrinsic worth and undermine our authenticity.
Authenticity and intrinsic worth Authenticity, as psychologist Carl Rogers suggested, is central to a healthy sense of self. It is about being true to our values, our passions, and our quirks, rather than moulding ourselves to fit external expectations. Authenticity anchors us, grounding our self-worth in the bedrock of our being, rather than the shifting sands of social approval. It's a powerful force — a crucible that transmutes our experiences, successes, failures, and lessons into a robust sense of self-worth. When we draw upon this internal wellspring, we imbue our actions with purpose and our lives with meaning, irrespective of outside applause or censure. Discerning the worthwhile from the worthless Does this imply that all external validation is inherently detrimental? Not necessarily. Just as a well-balanced diet benefits from a variety of food sources, a healthy self-concept can be nourished by both internal self-affirmation and selective external validation. Psychologist Abraham Maslow emphasised the role of "significant others" — individuals who understand and appreciate our authentic selves — in bolstering our self-esteem. A mentor's encouraging words, a loved one's pride, or a friend's admiration can serve to reflect and affirm our inherent worth. However, just as we discern the nutritional value of different foods, so too must we evaluate the worth of external validation. Broad, undiscriminating approval, especially when sought through the distorting prism of social media, often adulterates and cheapens the essence of genuine validation. Conclusion: Nurturing internal self-worth At the heart of it all, cultivating a strong sense of self-worth is a deeply personal journey. It requires us to embrace our authenticity, to learn from our experiences, and to foster a resilience that allows us to weather the inevitable storms of criticism and indifference. It demands that we recognise and affirm our inherent worth, independent of external opinion. Embracing this paradigm doesn't merely liberate us from the tyranny of social approval; it empowers us to navigate our lives with a compass calibrated to our internal values. As we forge this path, we discover that the wellspring of self-worth resides within us, waiting to be tapped — a testament to our resilience, our authenticity, and, ultimately, our irreplaceable worth. PS: Remember, your worth is not defined by the approval of others, but by the values you embody and the authenticity you express.
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AuthorEmmett Corcoran Archives
February 2025
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